Friday, June 29, 2012
Post title
I feel all cooped up, probably because I haven't been riding my bike over the past two days-- yesterday I was late for work so I had to drive and today is a hundred degrees of heat and after work is a Council meeting.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
I'm Never Lonesome When I'm By Myself
My heart and soul have packed their bags and moved to Montreal while my head is agitated, my nerves are frayed, and my mind is torn. Residue from September is to blame for the state of my brain while an anonymous letter left in Stella is responsible for the province where my heart and soul presently reside. As the wiring upstairs is still essentially illiterate to the workings of French, and my financial statement still fits on a one-ply index card, my physical presence will remain in the biggest city in the most middle western part of this country that has nothing left to offer me.
My circumstances are reminiscent of that scandal in Bohemia, though not all the details align cleanly.
This is why I don't take relationships very seriously. Just kidding-- nothing so complex has such a simple answer.
By the way, I'm still learning and figuring out what exactly I'm looking for. Last night, my mother divulged some details that, it seems, I am now old enough to comprehend. Things that attempt to answer for my existence, for instance, and other things that have the potential to teach me how to avoid making such mistakes in my own life.
I need to grow. That's it. And I need to keep moving. This particular part of this particular country is not a very good environment for me. Maybe it's everywhere that kids my age are preoccupied with drinking, but there have to other people like me. I mean, drinking is fun, but I've been there. I know what happens when I drink too much or just enough and I no longer find it fascinating. Furthermore, I'm not into distinguishing the subtleties between beers because I find it all excruciatingly boring and irrelevant.
Summer school starts on Friday and I couldn't be more excited.
What else..?
Immediate To Do list:
-Keep Saving (though my savings are, currently, pretty minimal).
-Keep reducing consumption of everything (except food). Biking instead of driving is definitely a good step, as is not smoking and drinking minimally. Reading the books I have should also go a long way instead of buying new books. I also have a library card that should start seeing some use. Drinking lots of water and buying oatmeal in bulk are also good steps.
-Learn French: to avoid allowing this current infatuation (which has, as of last night, begun creeping into my nightly dreams) to fall by the wayside, I need to be active; I will start watching French films, reading Candide in Voltaire's own words, learning Morphee by Moxy Fruvous, and, by the time Hnak gets back from Wyoming, start trying to hold conversations with him.
-Explore other college options (particularly in Montreal).
Eventual To-Do List:
-Sell my car: I'll need the money if I'm ever going to leave the country. Also, I shouldn't be spending money on gas and city stickers, and my dad shouldn't be paying for my insurance anymore.
-Sell more records: they'll lose value with the neglect I reserve especially for them. They're currently sitting in Emma and Casey's apartment, which is probably very, very hot.
To make this even more of an amalgamation of random thoughts, here are more:
Recently I've read:
After Dachau by Daniel Quinn - "No one cares."-- Danny would like this ending as it leaves the reader to take and apply the ideas without misleading said reader to think it will have any impact on the world. Good way for Mr. Quinn to cover his tracks.
The Life of Pi by Yann Martel - Pi told Richard Parker (the tiger) that one of the first things he would eat upon safely reaching shore would be Coconut Yam Kootu. Erika and I attempted that dish last night and it didn't turn out well. Without a food processor it wasn't possible to add about half of the recommended spices. Also, we used tapioca instead of plantains.
The Sunset Limited by Cormac McCarthy - Seems to have been adapted word-for-word by Tommy Lee Jones and Samuel L. Jackson. This play reaffirms lots of beliefs that I am currently trying to rise above. I credit Viktor E. Frankl for allowing me to take this dialogue with a proverbial grain of thought and without applying such hopelessness and meaninglessness to my own life.
Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. - This book was entertaining. I'm waiting for the movie to come in the mail more as a formality than an expression of the enthusiasm I had while reading the book. Vonnegut is humorous but I may have appreciated this more as a teenager.
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl.
My circumstances are reminiscent of that scandal in Bohemia, though not all the details align cleanly.
This is why I don't take relationships very seriously. Just kidding-- nothing so complex has such a simple answer.
By the way, I'm still learning and figuring out what exactly I'm looking for. Last night, my mother divulged some details that, it seems, I am now old enough to comprehend. Things that attempt to answer for my existence, for instance, and other things that have the potential to teach me how to avoid making such mistakes in my own life.
I need to grow. That's it. And I need to keep moving. This particular part of this particular country is not a very good environment for me. Maybe it's everywhere that kids my age are preoccupied with drinking, but there have to other people like me. I mean, drinking is fun, but I've been there. I know what happens when I drink too much or just enough and I no longer find it fascinating. Furthermore, I'm not into distinguishing the subtleties between beers because I find it all excruciatingly boring and irrelevant.
Summer school starts on Friday and I couldn't be more excited.
What else..?
Immediate To Do list:
-Keep Saving (though my savings are, currently, pretty minimal).
-Keep reducing consumption of everything (except food). Biking instead of driving is definitely a good step, as is not smoking and drinking minimally. Reading the books I have should also go a long way instead of buying new books. I also have a library card that should start seeing some use. Drinking lots of water and buying oatmeal in bulk are also good steps.
-Learn French: to avoid allowing this current infatuation (which has, as of last night, begun creeping into my nightly dreams) to fall by the wayside, I need to be active; I will start watching French films, reading Candide in Voltaire's own words, learning Morphee by Moxy Fruvous, and, by the time Hnak gets back from Wyoming, start trying to hold conversations with him.
-Explore other college options (particularly in Montreal).
Eventual To-Do List:
-Sell my car: I'll need the money if I'm ever going to leave the country. Also, I shouldn't be spending money on gas and city stickers, and my dad shouldn't be paying for my insurance anymore.
-Sell more records: they'll lose value with the neglect I reserve especially for them. They're currently sitting in Emma and Casey's apartment, which is probably very, very hot.
To make this even more of an amalgamation of random thoughts, here are more:
Recently I've read:
After Dachau by Daniel Quinn - "No one cares."-- Danny would like this ending as it leaves the reader to take and apply the ideas without misleading said reader to think it will have any impact on the world. Good way for Mr. Quinn to cover his tracks.
The Life of Pi by Yann Martel - Pi told Richard Parker (the tiger) that one of the first things he would eat upon safely reaching shore would be Coconut Yam Kootu. Erika and I attempted that dish last night and it didn't turn out well. Without a food processor it wasn't possible to add about half of the recommended spices. Also, we used tapioca instead of plantains.
The Sunset Limited by Cormac McCarthy - Seems to have been adapted word-for-word by Tommy Lee Jones and Samuel L. Jackson. This play reaffirms lots of beliefs that I am currently trying to rise above. I credit Viktor E. Frankl for allowing me to take this dialogue with a proverbial grain of thought and without applying such hopelessness and meaninglessness to my own life.
Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. - This book was entertaining. I'm waiting for the movie to come in the mail more as a formality than an expression of the enthusiasm I had while reading the book. Vonnegut is humorous but I may have appreciated this more as a teenager.
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl.
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