When I Hear My Name I Wanna Disappear.

Yesterday was bowling with John and being mistaken for an Aussie, today was a court date and a verdict of "not guilty," and tomorrow is a shave and a dentist appointment. Oh, and I received an acceptance letter from Metropolitan State College of Denver. Open enrollment leaves little to the imagination.
It's hard deciding what to do with my life. On the one hand, Chicago is pretty great. When I'm not hanging out with the family, the bars are endless and most of the people I've ever gotten along with either live here or will be living here soon. The food is good, the bars are endless, and I have a job. All my belongings can be accounted for and I won't have to worry about selling them or dragging them in a stinking u-haul.
The bum hand of Chicago is as such: with in-coming friends comes more easily accessible drinking and my, as of yet, biggest test of self-control. Also, it may not be easy focusing on school.
Denver is full of hope and a fresh start. I've glimpsed the melancholic side-- or glimpsed the dark side of a fresh start with melancholic eyes-- of a fresh start, with its loneliness and isolation and I don't know how I'd adapt. That could be a good challenge, though, as it's never a good idea to take your foot off the pedal of new experiences. My friends will always be here, or maybe they won't, and either way is just as well. If I drink myself into oblivion with whomever then nothing will really matter and I could have experienced the same feelings with slightly different people. Hm.
Let's try this some other way... like, what's keeping me in Chicago?
Family is an easy one. It's nice being able to stop by my mom's house and see Will and Hank, or being able to drop by my dad's or call John for a beer. Megan is in Denver, which would be nice. Anyhow, what else? Debt. That was easy, too. My way out is to get student loans to pay off my credit cards, then more student loans to pay for college. So family and debt, so far. My records are holding me back. Kind of funny, right? But they take up lots of space and they're heavy and worth enough where I should individually sell them as opposed to dropping by Reckless with a big box or a bunch of dirty milk crates. I told myself that once I let Dot get away then I wouldn't date anybody for a while. Then Lucy came along. Now that's done. So yeah, that's a good area to have a clean slate.
I just want to be grown up already. I want to shave every day and be a lawyer or a copyright guy or a barista or a professor. I want to make enough to that frugality and temperance are practices and not essentials.