My Poor Friend Me

Man, life is so boring. I mean, I know there are really, really great things going on, and there are also some very terrible things going on, but from a detached perspective of some kid trying to scrape out a living while trying to get drunk a few times a week, nothing really matters. And that's tough. It's tough in a way that's hard to comprehend if you're unfamiliar. You know Adam Dunn? He's on the White Sox and he sucks this year. Like, really badly. Here's why: in the National League he had to play first base or the outfield in order to be allotted a spot in the batting order. While Dunn wasn't a very good fielder at all, he was engaged in every play of every game. Now, on the White Sox, his only job is to hit. While the rest of the guys take the field, he sits in the dugout. Every couple of innings, he's required to stand up, stretch for a few minutes, then try to hit a few 80-100 mile per hour pitches being thrown next to him with the objective of not allowing him to make solid contact (or, ideally, any contact). If I were him, I'd be bored to death every game. I have a similar situation here at work: some days, it's really busy. On these days I get a lot done because I'm up and about anyways so it doesn't take much effort to take on the tasks necessary to, y'know, do my job. On a night like tonight, the last thing I am inclined to do is be productive. It's not necessarily that I'm lazy (though that certainly plays a part), and it's not even that I've come across anything even remotely interesting on the internet (this probably has more to do with laziness); there's no pressing issues, so there's no reason for me to stand up and walk around, so I'm not going to accidentally be ahead of schedule my accidentally taking out the garbage or cleaning the espresso machine. And then 9:30 will come around and some sense of urgency will present itself but, by that point, it will be too late. So I'll stay past 10:30 into the great abyss of time that I do not get paid for. It's terrible and it's depressing and time consuming and it's a great allegory for the way that I live my life.
Happy Saturday! If I had more than this month's rent in my bank account then I'd go out drinking. Or if it was warmer outside then I'd drive around in my convertible all night. But, alas (I kind of hate that word)! I will go home and eat pasta and either shave or watch In Cold Blood. Or both.