Something's happening. Or maybe nothing's happening.
Last night, once I got home from work, my only motivation to lift a finger was to change channels between Life (the unfunny Eddie Murphy-Martin Lawrence drama) and Ali G Indahouse.
I can still talk up a storm about writing or being in a band, but when it comes to sitting down and getting something done, my brain won't turn over (much like the engine in Aaron's car this morning).
Here are a few theories about why I feel worthless:
-it's cold out.
Yep, it's below 30 and the wind makes it feel like the lower 20s. This past spring, I was out every day that the weather permitted me to be. It was awesome. I rode my bike to and from Lincoln Park almost every day, I read several books, I'd sit at the beach and enjoy my life... Yeah, those were the days. I also had no girlfriend, wasn't smoking cigarettes, didn't hang out with many friends, and didn't have a real job (this is back when I was working for my old man).
The last of my warm Chicago days were spent on top of my motorcycle, having as much fun as I could without being pulled over.
-I'm not doing well in school.
I've lost motivation. I did three or four straight semesters with good grades but this one began too fast. I'm burnt out and... I don't know.
-it's chemical
Uh, yeah, nothing I can do about that. Except stop smoking and drinking and eating Twinkies. Ah ha! Maybe my diet isn't consistent enough. Meh, my body should be able to withstand a little anarchy.
-I drink too much coffee/smoke too many cigarettes/drink too often.
I guess this goes with the chemical thing. Or, actually, it can account for me feeling too tightly wound.
So now that the semester's almost finished, I'm in the mood to learn something. Bad timing.
Oh fuck, it's December. I should probably read one more book before the year is done. Speaking of "fuck" and "the year," this year kind of sucked. It was fun, sure, and I crossed lots of things off my list that I never intended on crossing off, like getting robbed and buying a motorcycle. Maybe I should take inventory real quick.
2010: In The Beginning
Where did you bring in the New Year?: Lucy's house
Who were you with?: most of my friends, plus plenty of people i didn't know/like. Tiki was sloppy drunk so, after he nearly broke Pinya's television, I drove him back to Sam's place.
Did you kiss anyone at midnight?: Lucy was mad at me. I might have tried to kiss her but I'm not sure.
Did you make any resolutions?: get robbed more often.
2010: Your Love Life
Did you break up with anyone?: Yes, Lucy, and I was bitter that she hadn't broken up with me the way that politician's resign when their misdeeds come to light.
Did you get anything for Valentine's day?: I doubt it. I also probably acted like an asshole.
Did you meet anyone special?: No one is special to me.
Did you fall in love? No.
2010: Friends and Enemies
Did you meet any new friends this year? this coffee shop is full of good folks.
Did any of your friendships end?: no
Did you dislike anyone?: absolutely.
Did you make any new enemies?: at least one.
Did you resolve any fights?: yes, several... then i resumed them.
Who was your closest friend? Sam and I got drunk a lot, Matsuo and I had a few good talks. Danny's always a good friend (even when he doesn't hang out).
Who did you grow apart from?: Dave has a girlfriend and a job and school.. he doesn't hang out much.
Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?: i surround myself with people who drink a lot. and i distance myself from people who really care about me. and i don't often have "good, wholesome fun," unless it's featuring beer.
2010: Your BIRTHDAY!!!
Did you have a cake? yeah, but i don't remember if it was on my birthday. and i don't like cake (just pumpkin pie).
Did you have a party?: Lucy took me out to a movie and sushi, then she arranged for some friends to meet us at Whirlaway. That was a good surprise.
Did you get any presents? probably. my memory of that day is kind of hazy
If so what was the best thing you got?: Vivian got me a giant card that played the Star Wars theme song.
2010: All about YOU
Did you change at all this year?:Yes. And no. I quit smoking from May-October, learned how to ride a motorcycle and drive stick, crashed on a scooter three times...
Did you dye your hair?: no.
Did you get your hair cut?: yes, a few times.
Did you change your style?: i bought some white t-shirts, but now they have pit stains.
Were you in school?: yeah. spring and summer were good semester. fall isn't a good one.
Did you get good grades?: here and there.
Did you have a job?: worked for my old man for a bit... walked toby, been working at Stella since the end of June.
Did you drive?: yes.
Did you own a car?: Cabrio
Did anyone close to you give birth?: nope.
Did you move at all?: yeah, from just south of Devon on Lakewood to just west of Lakewood on Columbia.
Did you go on any vacations?: Denver in March or April, western New York in July or August.
Did you leave the country at all?: nope.
Would you change anything about yourself now?: I'd be fine with not being to related to Alkaline Trio's "Another Innocent Girl" so much. Y'know, I could go for being less of an asshole or something. And I wouldn't mind having a few more goals.
2010: Wrap Up.
Is 2010 a good year?: a few ups, several downs.
What was the best thing about 2010? knowing it will soon be over.
Did 2010 bring any new insights?: yeah: don't pace back and forth while holding an expensive phone in a bad neighborhood. and don't leave the oven on unless I want carbon monoxide poisoning (which case I shouldn't leave the battery in the detector).
Do you think 2011 will top 2010?: i hope so but i'm not too optimistic at this point.
If you could relive any moment which would you choose?: getting robbed, being single and content, peeing on tiki's floor.
No comments:
Post a Comment