Relapse Therapy

When I sparsely smoke cigarettes (as opposed to consistently or hardly ever), funny things happen. This is the case because nicotine is a stimulant and my mind doesn't know a gray area between frequenting and quitting stimulants (see: coffee). A handful of cigarettes or a few cups of coffee doesn't cut it, so my brain lags; stupid things become funny, miscalculations become tolerable, and life is more care-free. Unfortunately, it is not possible to remain in this sort of limbo for very long-- quitting or partaking will eventually beat the other one out of my daily routine. (Editor's note: I, currently, have no vested interest in which habit prevails).
Anyways, here's a few recent happenings that would not have occurred had I been committed to or against smoking cigarettes:
1. I fell into a bush.
2. I didn't fasten my front bike tire securely to the frame.
3.
Here's how it happened:
1. I was riding my bike down Wilson because I wasn't aware of the on-going construction-- the workers had torn up a portion of the east-bound side of the street to lay a new coat of asphalt.
I was riding east and I could only use the sidewalk for so long before I had to face the unpaved surface. When this kind of work is going on, the street is fine until the torn-up part, where there's roughly a two inch drop. Well, the drop on this stretch of torn-up street was closer to three or four inches. I knew my front wheel would be fine dropping down but I didn't trust its durability hitting the abrupt three or four inch wall to get back to the regular pavement. Are we clear so far? As I approached the, uh temporary curb, I spotted a more gradual exit in a corner. I was going maybe five miles per hour as I tried the ease myself back onto the normally paved surface, but my front tire didn't have enough torque(?). Anyways, I kind of comically tipped-over into the bush next to the curb. It was pine and some of the needles stuck to my arm. I laughed.
2. Toby needed to be walked and I was in a hurry. My mom had given me a ride home the previous night so I could get my record player out of her car and into my home. This ride necessitated the dismantling of my bike (actually, just the front wheel needed to be taken off). the next day, the thought crossed my mind that hey, maybe I didn't fasten the front wheel to the fork part tight enough. The thought crossed my mind again as I was biking down to Lincoln Park (from my house, it's a good seven or eight mile ride). Still, I was kind of surprised to see the wheel detach from the fork as I lifted the handlebars (and the attached bicycle) onto a curb. I would have laughed had I seen someone ride up to a curb, get off, and have the bike partially fall apart. It reminded me of that commercial where the guy gets out of his car and slams the door, only to have the door hit the frame of the car and fall to the ground.
3. 3 was left blank up there because I can't remember what it was. I'm a half-assed believer in the power of 3s and I often don't sit down to write something until I have three parts to whatever it is I'm trying to linguistically tackle.
Oh, and a kid just came into my shop and said, "I'm really high and late for class, can I please have a cup of water?" I found it hilarious.
Anyhow, tomorrow is $5 pitchers of High Life at Hamilton's. Speaking of which, why do I go there? When Danny mentioned Hamilton's as the bar he got into when he was 16, I was kind of awe-struck. Maybe this is similar to why people gawk, or watch Cannibal Holocaust. Or why I watched Joe Dirt the other night-- I was so bored and I would rather have been disgusted.