One of the stops on the cycle of personalities I travel through is that of a grown man. It is, dare I say, my realized self. In this mindset, I find satisfaction in the completion of tasks that have a clear purpose and meaning, like that of having bought too many groceries and having to pile them into the basket on the back of my bike before riding home 5 miles in the sweltering heat. And instead of stepping out for a cigarette, this version is content with sitting on his back porch while finishing the final two chapters of whatever book I'm reading. And reading before bed, which leads to waking with a clear head, is preferred to drinking myself into a comatose state.
If I ever devolve back to cigarettes and beer and beef jerky, I think I'll eventually wind up back in the head I'm occupying right now. This is the place in which I'd like to grow old and die. And maybe it will grow to be able to contain someone else, but that may just be a dream.
No comments:
Post a Comment